Like a lighthouse,
drew me to you.
I am, all too often,
adrift in self love as substitute.
I have sunken myself in pride before.
Your lantern eyes compelled me to shores I dared not touch.
A sailor expects paradise after a grueling journey.
I, a lover.
But ours is not a love with lips and hands and passion.
I resented the fire you shared with everyone but me,
Miserly with your affection,
Chills for all the things you said but never did.
So I left your coastline,
more willing to drown myself that call your name lifesaver.
I learned to swim,
let the water hug my body in all the ways you wouldn’t.
You are not paradise,
Nor the denouement of my hopes.
A lighthouse is not home.
And you aren’t the lover I once wanted you to be,
Rather, refuge, guidance, safety.
I see you
With profound love and gratitude,